Today is my eldest daughters birthday. I am a loving noncustodial parent. Been doing my best to pay support for years ranging from $1100 per month, per child, which created destitution of course.
My concern, is that mothers and our trusted court system creates single parent homes at such a blinding rate, that it’s being assumed we as black men don’t love our children.
Giving money is called a gift and discouraged by the court. The arrearage creates a situation where jobs don’t wish to hire people with issues. Too many unscathed individuals out there to hire. Having a DCSE issue nowadays is like your business dealing with your parole officer. I’ve done time, for inability to pay arrearage, monies are forcefully retrieved from my financial institutions, I’ve been forced to trade coasts to look for work since my flawed background check makes it paramount that I become an Entrepreneur. All of that is today’s world for me.
But, I wish to tell my daughter Happy Birthday to accompany the card, loot, and present I sent. I’ve been plenty patient for 16 years of payments, gifts, visits, and loving advice. But, a man, father, even measly provider, deserves the respect of speaking to his children. Realistically, I’m paying for my own creations each month/year, and negative dribble is all my children have heard for 2/3 of their life. It’s blasphemy, larceny, defamation, abuse of privilege.
I have plenty to cry about, and I do, but the law is still now just pretending to realize people aren’t animals or lesser based upon financial offerings and race.
But, a childhood friend of mine, an Officer Jackson, due to municipal disrespect with regards to his daughter during a heated separation, committed suicide and also killed his daughter.
We love our children as men long before the race to the courthouse begins or we’re disrespected by the labels, “Deadbeat dad,” or Noncustodial parent.
I want to be upset and complain about the control issues, racist municipalities in Virginia toward relationships with a black male and white Female, women’s controlling behaviors in court, etc…
But I gave all my vengeance to Allah. Had to, because as a man, not being able to control my woman directly means that, as can always follow, an inability to be a superior figure in the children’s lives is the focal result.
Single parent homes is genocidal. And the courts think it’s funny, because so much money is made from creating single parent homes. Marriage is a business proposition now, and men, especially in Commonwealth states, guard your sperm with your life. Our women don’t even see how the court is pimping them to make DCSE a multi billion dollar franchise along with prisons which not only house our fathers, but our soldiers as well.
I still don’t understand how if you cannot obtain employment, because the system has blackballed you for mistakes 20 years old at times, and the court locks you up, how can arrears still accrue and how can mothers still Complain if they helped to lock you up. The only place where you cannot make a dime because even on work release, they let felons out primarily to coerce and acquire new indictments of their friends. It costs an arm a day to participate, your treated like scum, and thus begins the downward spiral of never being hired or taken seriously in the work force ever again…all because you argued with a chick who wanted creative control of the relationship. Hell, my girl was cheating and calling me a Nigger. Called our kids monkeys, but the court only cared that I was a provider and how to siphon my accounts and command of respect as a black male and leader of the household.
And off topic, but, why if you owe money, your locked up with killers and murderers when contempt or owing money is not a felony or a misdemeanor. They are just kidnapping people, pure and simple. Detainment against your will. Treating us like an undergrad degree nowadays, marginal at best as far as importance. And until Martial Law appears, or your assumed to be Muslim, there is the lingering facade of justice.
Ladies, we love our children too. And working together saves relationships, not arbitration. Stop locking up, your children’s father, and using us like a lotto ticket. He is a person , a man! It’s a grand schematic to separate families and realign mores for the ease of the “New World Order” Agenda.
Women deserve so much, and men need to see the change in structure and do all that we can to support, cherish, and love them/everyone. Women are the keys to a compassionate future/order. But sometimes, for the betterment of society, if you choose, freely, to be in a loving relationship…
Ladies, stop being so controlling. It’s starting to feel like the last conversation Satan had with Allah. You are already smarter than we are so you don’t have to show it to him, show it to them, as in the world. Show the world how you can use your love and patient intelligence to consider more rational understandings, and allow him to be what he was created to be, a heterosexual maniacal yet loving, honorable defender of your Universe. If he can’t tell you to lower your voice once in a blue, with all those muscles, how will your offspring realize the channels for appropriate business cultivation as men, or comply in a manner where he is respected for his knowledge, courage, or presence as a young man, while understanding the roles of strength, power, compassion, success, and chivalry? It’s not your job to be a father, leave that to us!
Now, if your gay, bi-curious, confused, or in the Jenner family, these details are a tad skewed. I pray for everyone’s happiness 7x a day at the least.
But, we can repair the home structure. Just Master the self. And yes, lacking money can make that difficult at times, ’tis true.
So, well, this entire rant is what i call life, and my small attempt to bring a few things to light about respecting noncustodial parents, especially fathers, who, like myself today, just want to say Happy Birthday to his beautiful, intelligent, strong, achieving young eldest…Happy Birthday to Icess Josephine Hawkins. Daddy loves you, misses you, am proud of you, and wish you the world as you may gladly have my last breath, to secure one more for yourself. Love to Dakota and Diamond and all children who have no clue that, because of despondent supervision, the parent not at the breakfast table loves you so so much too, that it hurts them not the see you, hug you, protect you, and address your life based concerns.
Hey America, I’m a noncustodial parent, and child support is a good thing. But Just realize, the court is not your friend, your ex may be a bit negative toward you, disrespect abound, however, simply talk to God. Search your heart, do what you can as your hirings shall allow, but, I pray that one day they will see how Daddy loved them and suffered each day without them by my side.
Children need the discipline and love of their real fathers, but those fathers are adult versions of the same things our children contend with today. Break the cycle, be cordial to one another, at the very least. For the children to have a fair accountability of who they are, and how to avoid the mistakes made by both, not the rankings of one who has become Jaded.
If you speak to Icess, tell her, I said, Happy Birthday..from Daddy.(Haven’t been respectfully received or allowed to communicate regularly via telephone with my daughters for 7 – 9 years now. Even after purge installments of 10 grand a pop.)