Why Masturbate,…?

What is the ethical war on masturbation about?  First of all, as a human being, to master something that causes no one else any harm should be either applauded or encouraged as a peaceful concept….excluding facetious exceptions or exemptions.

Let’s begin with the American dream. Sex does have a place in that, because marriage,  the picket fence, the house on the hill, etc., used to be the American equivalent of success.

However, times have changed. Now, women are equal in the work force, and rightly so. Homosexuals used to dwell in a symbolic closet of sorts, today the NFL is draped in pink, construction workers have traded whistling at women to watching Snoop and Martha Stewart trade baking secrets and prison yarns. And the court system decides for the female in cases before the Judge even dispatches himself from his chambers, as it should be in general, but not all cases!!

But, nowadays, men, and young men, need to protect their sperm so that they better avoid 25 years, at least, of heartache if they unfortunately share the introduction of a new life, and either party is vengeful or mentally discouraged/-ing…

As a proud father of 3, nothing means more, or pleases me greater than being their father and I would go through anything including death, to be the Earthly catalyst between God, and their birth.

But, as a noncustodial parent, with two estranged counterpart mothers, especially in today’s nonforgiving exonomy, what recourse do we have as real men, to counteract the court, the hate, and our futures?

It’s not a coincidence that the East Coast, the law creating Federal embodiment machine, has named so many East Coast states after European women. Georgia, Carolina, Florida, Virginia, etc..all women’s names. This translates into a no-win situation for heterosexual males in the court room. As if we’re always wrong, and don’t love our kids. We’re even blamed for the disparaging job situation being referred to as Deadbeat dads, when jobs are scarce sometimes due to race, opportunity, fear, population increases, political legislation, luck, or the cost of what it takes to first take care of your ex’s household, where she has a new man, or men, before you can afford to create a living for oneself. It’s social genocide, as the resulting single parenthood contributes directly to an unequal upbringing of femininity and instituted disposal of fathers, whether sufficient providers or  not.

Then there’s Divorce, inflating child support, and Judges who make millions in a corrupt system of injustice, parading the insolent and unmitigated Gall to look down upon our Cowboys and heroes of today, and therefore Tomorrow. Ask our Veterans. When the war stops for a second, and they return home, how many feel as if the leg they lost was for the right cause or more importantly, how do we hold our end of the bargain and thank them monetarily with respect for quality of life after they offer their lives for our flag with little, if any, input on why they were shipped to risk life, limb, and family to begin with!!

So, I’d do anything to have my children, and as to not sound as a waffler, I’m an anomaly. But, how many others out there feel my pain for those who want what they earn and not what their enemies deserve?

Now, what can we do….jerk off! Seriously, I’ve done 3 years in jail, luckily dodged virus and disease, as anyone who says putting on a condom, glove, McMuffin wrapper, Glad bag, anything on One’s Member, creates the same erection and pleasure as going bareback. I’m just being honest. Never been a fan of a little white lie, very imperfect, but as I am black and have yet to see or hear of an African International spy, a hero’s job in this country, I am mature enough to expound truth here.

Jerk off!! Why do we discourage protection of our sperm? The court will not persecute us, death from sexual disease is lessened, if not curtailed, and as the owner of a well-endowed member, I have had sex maybe 11x in the past 11 years (and that doesn’t mean 11 different women, either). Sucks!! But, by employing a jerking program, figuratively, no longer do I feel disrespected by the opposite sex, my tensions are relieved, in private, no jail, no court, no loss of a son in senseless war, no marriage/divorce, and a more peaceful balance in my soul.

The times have brought me to this. Great sex is like a punishment today, and the pros and cons should be truly considered. Planned parenthood could use a few less gunmen, and men need an avenue to reclaim their ownership over their children and their household. For with no immediate reconsiderations expected, I would gladly and wholeheartedly trade the entirety of America for a single opportunity to speak to my father just one more time.

And as a matter of fact, lemmie help you men with something critical. I understand how we believe that getting some strange is the key to resolving stress, tension, etc. However, too often, children are born to broken homes, unwanting parents living near convenient, baby-sized dumpsters, foster parent rapists, etc…

So, we cheat. But, we cheat in the wrong manner. All we need to do, men, is jerk off! That way, your hand becomes your wife, and your wife becomes your mistress!! She can benefit from the amenities of being the other woman, and you can have a literal threesome everyday!!

In fact, if you are receiving a stroke from your new wife while your real wife sits across the room and your climax hits her in the eye, you may be invited to the Special Olympic version of the X-games the following Winter…

Just something to think about as we continue to move forward amicably.


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